I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
