She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
