Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
