i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
