so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
