He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
