Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
You can't special order awesome
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
