Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
