I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
