well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
