laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
