i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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