I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize