I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
worst night to have a conscience
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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