You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
