I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
