i barfeds in our rink
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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