At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
