sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
