oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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