I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
