My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
