i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize