Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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