Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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