Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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