The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
