New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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