Already got asked if we're dating
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
