about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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