so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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