So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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