My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
