Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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