Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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