Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
