i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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