i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
whose parrot is this?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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