Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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