i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
