It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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