So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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