Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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