dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
