OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
