I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The air was thick with penises
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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