You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
