at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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