mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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