Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Randomize
