The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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