I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
