There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
