i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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