fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
