3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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