I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
