Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
