Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
