from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
